Reasoning with the Authors
by reisha404
Summary: Kurapika is a stubborn character and it’s his nature to reason out before doing things that might humiliate him. What he failed to know, was that reasoning with two equally insane authors will lead to a derogatory position in a fanfic.


**REASONING WITH THE AUTHORS**

**DISCLAIMER: **We, the Authors, do not own anything in this story. Anything and everything, except the plot and our original characters, belongs to Yoshihiro Togashi. We are just poor, not to mention jobless, college students so please do not sue. We do not earn anything from creating this story other than personal satisfaction and a few laughs.

**SUMMARY: **Kurapika is a stubborn character and it's his nature to reason out before doing things that might humiliate him. What he failed to know, was that reasoning with two equally insane authors will lead to a derogatory position in a fanfic. From good-natured bickering to blackmailing, Kurapika learned that he had no chance to sway them from writing.

**WARNINGS: **This story happens in the Alternate Universe. Please do not expect the characters or the events to be similar with that in the original Manga and/or Anime. Also, please prepare yourselves for mild to extreme OOC-ness. Thank you.

**AUTHORS' NOTES: **This is a joint writing 'project' of Kurapika Kuroro and Ladyeiramae. So expect the random twist of emotions, writing styles, voice and tones. XD ENJOY!

It was a very ordinary night. Two girls were carelessly staring at the television and both were contenting themselves with tinkering with their own respective phones when suddenly, after a documentary about people who does not seem to age, someone just piped up.

"Hey, Imeri, don't you think Kuroro looked too young for his age?", the older one said, crossing her legs as she inched a little bit closer at the television.

The two had just finished the first part of interviewing the subjects of their next fanfiction story – who were just by the next room waiting for the second part of the interview to take place.

"Mhmm…", the younger one, Imeri, said, blinking and yawning with boredom. "That's because he uses Nen. One aspect of Nen, Ten, can be used to fight aging – sometimes to the extent that one does not seem to age anymore."

"I see", the older one replied, "You know what? I can recall the episode where he was with Neon." She paused to scratch the back of her head before continuing with a rather shy and small voice. "I was kinda jealous for Kurapika at that point."

With those words, a loud crashing sound was heard from the next room. It was as if something – or someone, just fell off a chair and over the cheap porcelain decorations on the sides.

"I did not feel jealous for Kurapika about that", Imeri said, a huge grin was on her lips. "I was jealous because Kuroro should be mine!", she added jokingly. Maki, the older one, looked at her companion with bewilderment for she thought they had at the same _Kuroro is only for Kurapika _notion. _'I guess Kuroro is too irresistible'_, she noted.

Imeri had not started to laugh a syllable because of her own joke yet when not another second later, the sliding door that was separating their room from the next was almost torn off its railings. A blond teenager, with pale skin, bright blue eyes and wearing some sort of tribal dark blue and golden-orange tribal attire burst forth. His eyes were almost teary and his angelic face looked as if he would be crying his beautiful sapphire eyes out any moment soon. "He's yours! Go ahead and take him away from me! Imeri, I beg you!!!", he said, his voice cracking as he begged, his hands almost breaking the wooden door with his force. "Please take him!"

"Errr…", Imeri suddenly said with hesitation. What she just said was simply a joke and should not be taken seriously. She was not expecting the Kuruta to be bursting towards their room to beg her take Kuroro away. "Sheesh, Ra-Chan, relax", she soothed as she inched towards the now panting Kuruta – who currently looks suspiciously disheveled, and patted his back. "Ra-Chan dear, why don't you sit with us and drink, you look deranged…"

The Kuruta sat or rather fell down to the tatami floor as he sighed, "I hate being Kuroro's partner in most of the fanfictions written about us." The blond paused before continuing his confession, as if all of this had been his burden to carry. "I mean, it's a lot easier when I just have to go running around chasing him with my chains! But NO… those demented writers wanted US to be TOGETHER! US! KURORO and ME! TOGETHER?!"

"But you DO look LOVELY together, Kurapika", Maki said, her eyes glinting with determination, as if she just discovered a cure for the most fearsome disease ever. "That's it! Imeri, we should WRITE a KUROxKURA FANFIC!"

Kurapika shivered with the thought as he looked hopefully towards the younger one. He was hoping that this one would be a lot saner to back him up. "Imeri…?", he said as the younger one was now looking blankly at a distance.

"I've changed my mind…", Imeri suddenly said. Kurapika was about to check what she meant when she suddenly stood up and held her fist high in the air. "That's right Maki! WE SHOULD WRITE A KUROxKURA FANFIC!"

"Oh no…", Kurapika mumbled, feeling his stomach turning over and over inside of him. He could easily imagine flames soaring high in the air surrounding the two female writers as their fervor to write had been rekindled that very instant.

"I have to prepare some intimate moments… NOW! Where's my pen and paper?", Imeri said immediately, her speech rate almost triple the usual.

"That's good to hear partner! Together we shall bring them closer, A LOT CLOSER, than ever!", Maki exclaimed as she laughed maniacally along with Imeri.

Kurapika felt as if the roof had just fallen over him. It seems that his earlier intervention with the two's conversation had been a terrible mistake. "No… I can't take those intimate moments…", he muttered, cringing. Afterwards, he shivered so hard that he had to embrace himself. "It feels as if I'm being verbally raped…"

"You'll be more than verbally raped pretty soon", Imeri said giggling.

Kurapika just had to admit that the writer's action reminded him strongly of Hisoka.

"Somehow, I think I like the sound of that", a voice said.

The three had been too engrossed with their conversation that none of them noticed that a young man, about in his early twenties, had just entered the room through the broken door and was now seated calmly near them, beside the blond Kuruta. An impish grin was present upon his handsome face.

"Oh you'll definitely like it Kuroro", Maki said, clasping her hands as she dreamily stared off the distance. "And there will be delicious 'sounds' coming from Kurapika in the near future…", she muttered to herself with a lopsided grin.

Kurapika debated with himself whether to use his Judgment Chain to these writers or not, but knowing that it would be very immoral on his more conscientious part, he decided to negotiate in this conversation armed only with words.

"Hmmm… Kurapika uttering my name would be nice", Kuroro said, still smiling as he clasped his chin.

"Kuroro, Kuroro, Kuroro. There, happy?!", Kurapika snapped as he saw that his 'companion' was not being helpful.

"Maki meant it in a more 'sensual' way Ra-chan, don't you Maki?", Imeri said, seeing this as a chance to develop the two's 'connection' a bit more. Maki only shrugged and stared at the Kuruta as if he was some sort of a fruit.

"In a sensual way?!", Kurapika said angrily as he glared at the younger writer.

"What do you expect? We have Hisoka's er… mind, right now…", Maki said, as she took down unintelligible notes feverishly in a small notebook.

Kurapika shifted his deathly glare towards the older one, although he was deeply hoping that he could at least scare them off with a Kuruta death-glare – as he usually did with his friends.

But alas, his efforts were futile. The two were far crazier than he thought.

"It wouldn't be so bad", Imeri said, as she paused writing in her notebook. "Kuroro will 'guide' you, won't you Kuroro?"

"Gladly", Kuroro replied nodding. He was now grinning as devilishly as possible.

Kurapika's hope was shattered. Kuroro was not being of any help in this situation, as a matter of fact, the man was now fueling the two writers' writing fervor.

"Oh no…", Kurapika mumbled helplessly as he envisions his loss coming closer on the horizon.

"The way you complain turns me on", Kuroro said seductively as he stares mischievously towards the now cringing Kuruta.

"Should Maki and I leave the two of you alone now?", Imeri said as she grinned just as evilly as Kuroro. She had already stood up and was turning towards the broken door.

"We can provide everything that you'll need for tonight… Just call us and-", Maki paused as Kuroro drew a rectangle in midair. "Oh… What flavor?", Maki asked as her evil Hisoka-like grin got even wider.

"Strawberry", Kuroro replied with a shark-like smile.

With that, Kurapika practically fainted.

"Ra-chan!", Imeri exclaimed as she rushed towards the unconscious figure on the floor. "Oh well, now it'll all be easier for Kuroro", she said nastily as she winked at the dark-haired man.

With those words, Kurapika snapped upright. Although he was still white with shock and worry, he bravely declared, "What?! No way! I'm not going to make it easier for that bastard!"

"We should have this fierce scene in a fanfiction", Imeri said as she scribbled the inspiration feverishly in her notebook.

Maki coughed a little before she commented, her eyes lingering nastily on the now very vulnerable Kuruta, "Wow, you're right. We should write this scene in full detail", she said as she frantically attacked her notebook with her pen, laughing like a devil all the way.

"Why me? Oh why?!", Kurapika wailed as he sank back to a seemingly lifeless pile on the floor.

"Don't ask us, ask Togashi", Imeri said nonchalantly, her eyes rolling once. "He's the one who made you prettier than what was good for you. And why fret Ra-chan? Kuroro adores you, don't you Kuroro?", she added looking smugly at Kuroro.

"I spared your life because you're mine. My lovely uke…", Kuroro said looking very mischievous as he inched closer to the Kuruta.

Instinctively, Kurapika decided that it was best to crawl backwards – away from Kuroro right now. "Y-you? You… spared my life?", he stuttered, with fear and confusion.

"Aww, aren't you nasty?", Maki said winking at Kuroro.

"Anyway, since you two look lovely together, you have no right to speak against us who wanted to pair you up. We're a big part of your fans! Got it Ra-chan?!", Imeri said, as she pointed her pen dangerously towards the Kuruta.

"D-do I have a choice?", Kurapika said, sounding as if he had yielded to his fate already, while he continued to back away from Kuroro who was still getting closer.

Amazingly, the two female writers chorused, "NO you don't… Unless you want Hisoka better…", both of them looking as though they had gone mad – which Kurapika genuinely believed that they had.

"What?!", Kurapika, screamed incredulously as he sprang on his feet. "Just kill me!", he exclaimed.

"Imeri might consider that idea", Maki said as she pointed her thumb towards her companion who had just grown her nails into Killua-like claws.

Kurapika gulped.

Kuroro turned around immediately, "You're not killing my Kuruta! You won't, would you, Imeri?", he said puppy-eyed and trying very hard to look as cute and irresistible as he can.

Imeri immediately sheathed her claws as she smiled sheepishly, "Of course not Kuro-dear, Ra-chan's too cute – and not to mention too expensive to be killed… That is if he picks you instead of Hisoka." She smiled at Kurapika good-naturedly, before resuming, "So, now, now, Ra-chan, why don't you take your pick? Hisoka or Kuroro?"

"Choose Kuroro and I'll give you a pair of Kuruta eyes", Maki said, her eyes glinting.

"Make it five!", Kurapika demanded, willing to do anything – and, yes, that includes being with Kuroro, just to get his clan's lost eyeballs.

Maki hesitated for a moment, "Fine, five pairs then!", she said.

Seeing that he must do this for his fallen kinsfolk, yes, he HAD to do this FOR HIS FALLEN KINSFOLK, not for anything else, he should yield. "I'll choose…", he started, earning him three anticipating and very excited pairs of eyes.

"Yes?!", the three chorused, amazingly, Kuroro was now totally with the two crazy girls' ideas.

"I'll choose…", Kurapika continued as he shyly dropped his voice into a murmur. "Kuroro."

"What? I can't hear you", Kuroro said, his voice naughty and teasing.

"I choose you! Bastard!", Kurapika yelled, blushing profusely as he did.

"Why do you need to scream?", Imeri questioned, eager to put more 'substance' to the situation. "Who's Bastard? A pokemon?... _Tch Tch Tch…_ Ra-chan, why don't you say it with more grace, tenderness… AFFECTION!", she said, as flames burn intensely within those brown orbs. Then suddenly, she disappears from sight, only to appear beside the Kuruta. She dropped her voice until only the Kuruta could hear her before speaking, "I'll add another pair of eyes if you do it as I told you."

"I have a feeling that I'm being bribed…", Kurapika murmured back.

"Just say it!", Maki ordered curtly.

The blond boy knew right away that there is nothing else he could do but yield to their 'requests'. He should not mind this little thing; after all, he'll be getting six pairs already, for a simple task. He inhaled deeply to gather 'fortitude' before speaking as softly and sweetly as possible without sounding seductive, "I choose you", he said as he looked and blushed at Kuroro.

"I would not mind being a pokemon if you'll summon me like that", Kuroro replied, almost dreamily.

The two female writers nearly fainted with euphoria. The younger one, however, was the first to comment.

"See, it's a lot better this way", she stated, practically jumping up and down excitedly. "And no one dies of hypertension too", she added as she giggled like a schoolgirl. "Now for the next step…", she mumbled as she rummaged at her pockets for what seems to be cue cards.

The smile on Maki's face just widened. "Here are the strawberry-flavored 'protections'", she said as she handed a small rectangular box to Kuroro. "Imeri, it's time to go", she added with a wink as she pointed towards the exit at companion.

"Yes, you can leave us now", Kuroro said with a smile as he stuffed the box in his pocket.

"No… NO! Imeri, Imeri don't leave us! Don't leave me here! Please…", Kurapika pleaded as he grabbed the younger one by the arm.

Imeri, realizing the 'point' of her companion, had decided not to stay and be a nuisance to the 'pair'. "Sorry Ra-chan, but I'm busy writing your fic. Now, I need to go OK?", she said, gently taking Kurapika's grip off her arm as she stepped out of the room. "Have fun kids!", she added playfully with a toothy grin as she slid the door back to its place.

"Maki… Maki?", Kurapika said as he realized that Maki, who was supposed to be just a few feet away from him was now out of sight. "Where'd she go?"

"She went out before Imeri did", Kuroro explained, as if it was the most helpful thing right now. "Anyway, hello my dear Kuruta", he said seductively, as he disappeared from his position to appear behind the blond.

Kurapika felt the hairs at the base of his neck rose. He can feel the evil aura behind him, oh for heaven's sake, please spare him from this cruel chastity taker named Kuroro Lucifer, the blonde begged. He felt the man's hand gently stroke his left shoulder which made him shudder out of horror that the touch might get into something more…intimate.

"Why don't we sit down and hope that they would realize that what they are thinking is impossible?"

Kuroro trifled a comforting gesture for the blonde, which he hoped that did not look so strained. He stared at the Kuruta who sat slowly as he guided him with a gentle sweep of his hands on the petrified boy's shoulders. The man looked at the couch and contemplated if it was contaminated with a contagious mental disease, will he sit there or not? Kuroro had not known any 'contagious mental disease' so far so he decided to sit beside the blonde.

The proximity of the older man made Kurapika move as far as the couch permitted him and answered Kuroro's question.

"They won't realize that they're wrong…" Kurapika successfully said, he had gathered all the courage that was left in his body to utter a proper response to the man who literally gave him the reason to feel fear.

"Why?" Kuroro teasingly questioned

"You fed their… _imaginations_…" The blonde's voice was quavering, he was so aware that the Ryodan head might lunge forward and perform _obscenities._

He stared at the door that was left ajar and his eyes narrowed upon suspicion. If they do 'it' here in this room, the girls might barge in and witness the bloody sight of them doing a strenuous physical activity that would corrupt their minds. _As if their minds are pure?_ He reminded himself. Kurapika imagined a naked Kuroro who was on top of him – who was also devoid of clothing – in the middle of...

The blonde face paled, why did the gross image enter his mind?

The Ryodan head seemed amused that his companion showed such mannerism, Kuroro scrutinized him out of curiosity. '_What are you thinking?' _He wished that he could read the other's mind to find an answer.

Kurapika felt Kuroro's penetrating gaze…_penetrating_ he thought, his eyes twitched, '_My thoughts are…getting green. Well, greener…' _ he shuddered.

The man smiled, "Are you familiar with the phrase 'If you can't beat them, join them?'" he spoke and intended his statement as an answer for Kurapika's comment.

The boy did not answer to preserve himself from 'further' humiliation. He simply wished that there are aliens roaming the premise who wanted to abduct anime characters such as him.

_Uttering Kuroro's name in a seductive way_…

He could hear the lecherous side of him snicker and remind him that he had delivered the statement in an alluring way that…it may had aroused Kuroro's libido.

Kuroro took the blonde's silence as a sign of self-preservation…he sighed; he'll perform a monologue in this room if the boy stayed like this.

"There's no harm in presenting them ideas, they are fans…" he peered at the blonde's form and continued, "Not that I'm concerned with them but it's better to follow their train of thoughts than to argue or reason to them," Kuroro breathed, he expected that the Kuruta might answer but he merely received a pregnant pause from him.

"They are, after all, just ordinary humans…" he waved his pale right hand to emphasize that it was a petty thing to entertain the writers' sentiments.

'_Yeah right,'_ Kurapika thought. _'Like they act normal! Both of them appears and disappears without a trace. One of them is murderous and the other's way too demented that she may even match Hisoka… Both of them must have come from the Transformation type of Nen.'_

"Their fictions would not change anything between us…" The man expected Kurapika to agree on his statement but earned nothing. '_I hate POV-ing_,' Kuroro exasperatedly remembered that in some fics he had been POV-ing like _this. _

"Nothing will change…" he started again, "Unless…you are affected or you are warming up with the idea that it's possible."

A moment of yet again dead silence conquered the room, he thought his companion dozed off but when he peered again at the boy's face he saw a scowl with a demonic tinge of red in his eyes. The boy looked stupid as to how the eyes widened like an owl's, he was waiting if the Kuruta's eyeballs would fall from its sockets at any moment but the scarlet orbs were still there on the owner's face. The Kuruta clearly looked enraged, but decided to keep quiet for fearing the man's seductive touch; Kuroro smiled deviously at this knowledge and considered a plan.

"Hm…" he stared and decided to provoke the blonde, it's time to play with his _toy_, the Ryodan leader amusedly noted.

"You're so beautiful Kurapika…" he purred, he knew that his statement was the opposite of his opinion of the Kuruta's current visage – for Kurapika was appearing to be a ludicrous eye monster, but the blonde was beautiful if not wearing this pathetic expression.

"Are you…aware of it?" He continued his act and carried out the statement wistfully as he crawled towards the blonde.

Kurapika let the 'compliment' pass, he's not warming up with the idea that it was possible for them to do the things that the fictions indicated…

He convinced himself that it would be an abomination for KuroroxKurapika to take place but before he could internalize that notion; his mind presented him an image of them _making out_ at the very couch they were occupying. '_Oh dirty thoughts!' _He was too engrossed at his own thoughts that he did not pay attention to his companion's movements.

Kurapika blinked, why did his position change all of a sudden? He knew that he sat up straight a while ago but why did it feels like he was lying on the couch? And was Kuroro crawling towards him moments ago? His eye color shifted from red to blue.

"Pretty…" Kuroro murmured, he was hovering at the now confused Kuruta. He thanked that the boy's face turned normal and that his eyes were not protruding out of its sockets. The Kurapika beneath him was beautiful…

"How did I-," Kurapika was shocked at seeing the man above him.

"I used nen," The man answered matter-of-factly.

Kurapika stared at the man's face and felt a hand caressing his hair. His sight moved from Kuroro's seductive gaze then to the man's hand which held a book.

"Bandit's Secret" Kurapika whispered and tensed while realizing the position he was in.

"Why are you so tensed?" Kuroro murmured and closed the book which disappeared instantly.

Kurapika shuddered visibly. This was the part where the seme kiss his uke! He had read it in the fictions, and he was afraid that Kuroro might do it!

Kuroro leaned towards Kurapika and left an inch between their lips.

"No… Please…" Kurapika decided to protest, he squirmed in Kuroro's embrace wishing that the man would free him.

"What do you mean?" The man arched an eyebrow and allowed his body to press the poor boy beneath him.

"Don't…" he faltered and blushed. "Kiss me…" he finished with defeated sigh.

Kuroro grinned impishly and brushed the blonde's lips. Kurapika looked so adorable, and yes, he should blame Togashi for creating the Kuruta like this…he was so…feminine. '_I wonder_,' Kuroro said to himself, he was intrigued of how those lips might feel with his…

"Did you mean '_don't' just stare…kiss me'?_"

Kurapika's eyes narrowed at Kuroro's logic, he was about to answer when…

Kuroro's lips brushed the blonde's lower lip with a tender pressure that sent chills to his entire body.

"NO!!!" Kurapika managed to utter despite the light nibbling of Kuroro's lips on his own.

"Hmm…?" Kuroro slowly inched away and gazed at the horrified boy. He sat up and smiled smugly, those lips were so…_soft…_almost jelly like that he wanted to bite it.

Kurapika covered his lips with his left hand and lay frozen on the couch. He will definitely consult his dentist tomorrow and see if there are infections from Kuroro's saliva. Then he contemplated on whether he should run to the nearest veterinarian instead to ask for the strongest anti-rabies vaccine.

Kuroro had given him enough space to gather his wits and move to sat still on the couch. The blonde dragged himself to the edge of the couch and looked so shocked. He smiled, scaring the Kuruta was such an amusing thing to do, and he should thank Imeri and Maki for this opportunity.

"I have a question Kuruta…" he asked in a silky tone and turned to face the boy.

The blonde did not like this one bit. If what he was reading were true, this scenario would be the part where the seme asks his uke what he felt when they kissed.

"What do people find most pleasurable in their daily lives?" Kuroro encouraged the Kuruta to answer.

The man observed the blonde's current state, his companion seemed vindictive that he should not answer any of the older man's queries. Kuroro's eyes narrowed at the obvious physical manifestation of Kurapika's decision. His pale hand was still covering half of his face for protection. Kuroro grabbed the hand off and held it in death grip.

Kurapika hissed, why was the older man always had the advantage?

"Just answer me please, I won't do that again, I thought you wanted me to kiss you…" he sounded artificially apologetic which made the blonde's eyebrows furrowed.

"…Laughing?" he hesitantly answered Kuroro's question

"Laughing?" Kuroro echoed and released the blonde's wrist.

"Laughing is what most people find pleasurable in their daily lives" Kurapika spoke monotonously hoping that Kuroro would be discouraged in forcing him to talk.

"You're answer is not well thought of. Any educated guess?"

The man's response failed him to think of anything that would make the man decline in continuing the conversation. So he settled on giving bland replies.

"Eating?" he said curtly

"Sex," Kuroro deadpanned.

"What?!" Kurapika shuddered for the nth time tonight.

"Do you want to know why?" Kuroro felt as if he was as predatory as Hisoka right now.

Kurapika felt threatened by hearing the man's voice.

"Why?" he gulped and hoped that engaging in the conversation would not lead into anything carnal.

"Because it's uniting with another human being, releasing your passion to another in order to satiate your bodies' primal needs…Kurapika, have you tried-" before Kuroro could finish his statement Kurapika rose his arm and gestured the man to stop.

The blonde shook his head "No…" he stated weakly.

Kuroro shrugged the plead off and continued otherwise, "Well, you might not understand it until you bed someone"

"Do I have to experience it before I could understand?"

"Are you willing to try?"

Kurapika's face was flustering and his mouth opening and closing like goldfish. He did not know what and how to respond for the man had many ways to play with words.

"When I kissed you…" Kuroro started to say, he was aware that his question would not be answered. Kurapika was so dignified to respond in those types of questions. "You're reaction was different." He finished.

"What do you mean different?" Kurapika blurted, what's the deal with his reaction? The blonde continued, "If my response was different from the females you'd kissed of course it would be _different! _I'm a male! A male kissing me made me feel defiled! It's an abomination! Pure Evil!" Kurapika ranted and ceased for a moment. He reflected on the words that he used, and fortunately he did not find anything that would trigger Kuroro to do _naughty_ things.

He thought that Kuroro would surrender but to Kurapika's dismay, the man clutched his shoulders and pushed him forcefully on the couch. They lay there again; Kuroro pressed his body to pin the blonde. He tried to struggle but Kuroro's weight was restraining him and it might have hindered his lungs to function that he gasped for air.

The man saw Kurapika's pallor and blinked. He almost crushed the blonde's chest and was struggling for air. Kurapika's mouth was open, sucking air as he was able to, his nostrils expanding and contracting which gave Kuroro the guilty feeling that he'd gone too far. He wondered why the blonde's tongue did not stick out off his mouth like a dog huffing for air.

Kuroro eased his pose so that Kurapika would not die from suffocation. He touched the blonde's face apologetically and saw that Kurapika had retained his color.

Kurapika inhaled profusely. He noted that their position had been what it was earlier, Kuroro on top of Kurapika with their proximity the same as it was before they kissed.

"You had never been this close to anyone, am I right?" Kuroro tenderly asked

Kurapika placed his palms on Kuroro's chest and tried to push him away.

"Yeah… So what? Back off Kuroro" the statement would have been harsh if it weren't for Kurapika's shaky voice.

Kuroro's eyes gleamed. He reached for his pocket and held a pink rectangular box.

Kurapika's eyes widened, that was the strawberry flavored thing that Maki had given Kuroro. The man brandished the accursed thing in front of his eyes and smiled slyly.

"Want to try?"

Kurapika's eyes widened out of horror; the man will take his innocence! '_Oh no!'_ Kurapika cried within.

"You're not-" Kurapika protested, his lips quivering

"Yes I am, just try it… It's good" he opened the box and held a sachet. He started to rip it when he felt Kurapika inhaled and was about to yell at him.

"I am not going to have SEX with you!!!!!", His voice was coated with fear and panic.

Kuroro merely blinked at the younger man and laughed. He stood and allowed Kurapika to gather his wits before he would throw his _bomb_ on the blonde's face. He thought evilly.

The blonde stared nervously at the man who opened the pink sachet. Why did the man open it? Will he use it with someone else? The questions echoed in his mind.

His speculations were damned the moment Kuroro took the content of the sachet and put it inside his mouth. He gawked ludicrously at the man as he chewed.

"It's a chewing gum" Kuroro clarified and sat on the floor.

Kurapika's cheeks heat up, he thought it was a…condom…yeah a strawberry scented one. He had the urge to slap his own face for the idea that entered his mind but chose not to do so for it was inappropriate.

"I didn't know you strongly detest chewing gums," Kuroro simpered.

"I thought…" Kurapika faltered which Kuroro took as an opening to explain why he had these strawberry flavored gums.

"These are prescribed by my dentist…" Kuroro mentally laughed, _as if I needed one_, he jibed at himself and continued. "Maki and I had the same oral sensitivity that we needed medicated gums to protect it from irritants" he finished.

The blonde decided to ask his dentist if there is an _oral sensitivity_ that needed _medicated_ strawberry chewing gums. '_And if he was lying,'_ he glared at the man in front of him; '_I will kill him even without Togashi's consent!_'

He was about to voice out his sentiments when Kuroro spoke again. "What makes you think that we'll have sex?"He stared at the Kuruta's flustering face.

Kurapika relaxed, he thought Kuroro would take him. But the man implied that he had no plans in doing anything to him except humiliate him for Kuroro's amusement. He could answer back to Kuroro in any way he wanted! _'Fear not Kurapika,' _he said to himself.

"The two of course!" Kurapika stated as if Kuroro had been so dumb.

"Ah… So you're reading fanfictions then?" Kuroro convicted the blonde guilty.

"…" he did not answer, he should not have reasoned with the two in the first place. He should have stayed quiet and reserved his opinion on his own.

"Hmm… And the moment I kissed you proved you something," Kuroro's eyes narrowed upon grasping something important that is vital to Kurapika's humanity.

"What's that?" the blonde dared Kuroro to continue…

"That you're gay." It was a statement not a question, which Kurapika took as a sarcastic remark.

"And so are you…" he reciprocated sardonically.

Kuroro only smiled lopsidedly at the comment Kurapika had given him.

"Too hot in here…" Kuroro started to remove his upper garments.

Kurapika was ogling the older man and swallowed. The malicious thoughts rummaged his mind again.

He shook his head and tried to kill the thoughts that continuously staining his mind. '_Stop thinking of…that seme-uke thing!' _the blonde berated himself.

Kuroro sighed, what other things should he do with the Kuruta? He looked at the door that was left ajar, and a thought suddenly crossed his mind.

"Kurapika" the man smiled amiably at the blonde which earned him a skeptical gaze.

"What?" the younger said curtly.

"Do you know how to massage?"

"Huh?" Kurapika furrowed his eyebrows

"Can you massage my back?" It was a request but his voice was authoritative.

"Why would I?" the blonde said arrogantly.

"…What if I offer you a pair of Scarlet eyes…"

"…"He did not answer yet and debated within himself if he would take the offer.

'_Kuroro would pay a pair of Kuruta eyes for a massage? Oh well, the two writers offered six for a statement. So…'_

It was like a candy coated bait that would lead him to jeopardy. '_But it's a pair of my clan's eyes,' _he convinced himself to take the offer.

Kuroro positioned himself and lay with his stomach. "I'm waiting", Kuroro teasingly stated.

"…Whatever…" Kurapika approached the man and touched the ivory skin hesitantly.

He kneaded Kuroro's shoulders which produced a very distracting moan from Kuroro.

"Oh…" he seductively muttered, as the boy proceeded in massaging his back.

Kurapika tried to ignore the sounds that Kuroro was _intentionally_ producing for the sake of Kuruta eyes.

A girl in her late teens sat placidly near the table of the reading room. She was quietly reading a Literature book when she heard a loud thud from a room that must have been from the second floor.

She blinked and ignored the sound; it might have been from a _cat_, a very huge _cat_ that looked like Kurapika who was trying to devour a lion. She was about to read the Divine Comedy when she heard another thud, this time with a loud groan and a soft laughter. The groan may have been from the _cat_, and the one who laughed was the lion. Her eyes widened, _'What are they doing right now?'_ She placed a bookmark on the book and stood.

She decided to go downstairs and pledged that she will _witness_ everything that the situation permitted her and will promulgate everything and anything in her fanfic.

She saw Imeri that was on the hallway of the second floor…

They looked at each other with their eyes glinting with a light degree of lecherousness in their eyes. The two sauntered nearer to the room and noticed that the door was left ajar which procured noises that distracted them.

"Mmph…"They heard a muzzled cry that definitely was from Kurapika.

Imeri and Maki stared at each other and concluded that they are doing 'it' in the room. Maki had no idea if Kuroro really had a 'protection' for what the man requested were chewing gums, _props_ for duping Kurapika. '_Oh well, nobody will get pregnant anyway_,' Maki derided her concern.

They scribbled incessantly in their notebooks. Ideas of very lascivious things entered their minds.

'_What position are they in?'_

They heard Kurapika whine, and wrote:

'_Was Kuroro being gentle or being rough?'_

Kuroro's panting was prominent and they followed the question up with:

'_How far did Kuroro get inside Kurapika?'_

There was a loud thud…

'_Are they doing it on the couch or on the floor?'_

Their fingers were full of callouses by now.

"_YE...sss"_ Kuroro shouted

Both girls' notebooks were almost flaming with the friction of their pen to the paper.

The thoughts that came into their mind became greener and murkier than Hisoka have tried to reckon. They could not help but to snicker like psychotic patients in a mental ward.

Kuroro and Kurapika were aware of the presence of the two behind the door.

Kurapika felt relieved, they might stop Kuroro from breaking his limbs. '_Please have mercy on me_,' he mentally pleaded wishing that one of them could hear him.

The man was pinning him down with his weight. He smiled and grabbed the younger's right leg, he laughed maniacally as he twisted it guiltlessly.

"AAAH!" Kurapika cried.

The Kuruta should have known that a simple massage could have three outcomes. One was relaxation, which was obvious and the most common. Two was _intercourse_, well, in a romantic couple's case that is. And three, pain, or should we say _wrestling_, which Kuroro was currently made Kurapika have the luxury to experience.

Kuroro snickered and proceeded in twisting the other leg, which earned another groan from the Kuruta.

"Ohhh!" Kurapika wanted to crack the man's skull but sighed for he couldn't. His energy was drained and his body was like a jelly.

Kurapika waited for the two girls to enter the room but there was no one who even dared to peek in the room and see if he was still alive. The blonde felt cheated, those girls were on Kuroro's side!

"Kurapika…" Kuroro whispered who was currently holding both of his arms. The man pulled it slowly.

"Hmmmm" Kurapika felt that his arms were being stretched, it was painful but relaxing. It's like screwing his joints for power up and maintenance.

Now, Kuroro was contented with the sound that the Kuruta procured, with that, the girls would think that they are _making love_, in a romantic person's parlance.

Maki had forgotten how to breathe. It was fortunate on her part that her partner noticed that she neglected her instincts of living. "Breathe," Imeri reminded her. She looked at her companion and inhaled.

"Are you recording this?" the younger one mouthed the words at the older.

Maki nodded and brandished the recorder at her partner's sight.

They waited for another round of groans and moans when…

"What are you doing here?" the voice steely that they already knew who it was.

"Kuroro…" Maki grinned apologetically, they behaved like _peeping toms_ tonight which was so un-lady-like. '_Wait, do I have morals?' _Maki asked herself for the thought of behaving unethically.

"Oh…" Imeri gasped as she saw Kuroro's biceps, _he was only wearing his trousers…._the thought rammed her mind.

Kuroro smiled. He was sure the two were about to drool right now, his well-built muscles were too irresistible. He gazed at the two who kept on ogling him.

The younger one's nose trickled some blood, and the color on her face seemed to shift from healthy pink to pale blue. She felt as if gravity was pulling her and her body fell to the floor, Imeri did not move… she was almost lifeless.

Kuroro grinned smugly, the poor girl fainted at his mere presence, _and I wonder what will happen if they will see me making out with the Kuruta_, he mused. The man looked at the other girl who failed to catch and aid her companion who fell on the floor.

She was ogling at Kuroro and a thousand kind of carnal things reflected on her eyes. The girl was clearly drooling by merely looking at him…

Maki gazed at him from head to toe and blinked when she noticed something.

"Uhm, Kuroro" Maki said and pointed at Kuroro's groin.

Now, now, the girls would see that he failed to wear his trousers properly indicating that they did _it_. Kuroro feigned a shocked face and looked at his zipper.

"Forgive me girls…It has been an exhausting night" he smiled and zipped his garment.

"Where is the restroom?" he asked.

Imeri shakily moved her right arm and pointed to the left direction. Kuroro smiled which made the girl bleed some more and stain carpet incessantly.

Maki sat near Imeri. She poked the younger's cheek to check if her soul was still within the body.

"Hnnn" she groaned

"Let's check Kurapika" she helped her partner move by lifting the younger one's left arm and draped the other to Imeri's waist and helped her walk.

Imeri was able to retain her balance before they could enter the room. They peeked in the room and saw a disheartening sight.

Kurapika sat motionless at the floor, his eyes were glassy and devoid of any life. The blonde's locks were wet from sweat. He shivered and leaned on the wall with Kuroro's coat providing him warmth.

They walked closer towards Kurapika and noticed that he still wore his pants._ 'They dress quickly,'_ they convinced themselves.

The blonde ignored the two and stared to nothing but space. He was thinking of how he could avenge himself from everything that took place. How could he reason with these lunatics? He should have prepared himself from this unpredictable duo and should have thought that engaging himself on a debate against these writers would spell 'danger'. What would the writers procure on the next chapters of their fiction? _Balance: Collision of Light and Dark_, he thought and sighed, _was that possible? _The titles of the fictions entered his brain. _Odd Enemy_, he closed his eyes and thanked Togashi that it will never happen in the manga. And then _Nothingness_ entered his mind which made him shudder.

He wished Togashi would change his face and body someday.

'_I wish to be more masculine…'_ he felt depreciated upon realizing that he's wishing mundane stuffs.

'_Hell, even Bisque's true form was more masculine than me.'_ He derided himself.

"You wish!" the girls scolded him.

Kurapika: What the hell is wrong with the two of you?!

Imeri and Maki: Everything…

Kurapika: I should not have asked…

Ladyeiramae: Where did those two come from? O.o

Kurapika_Kuroro: Beats me… O.o


End file.
